God Is My Portion: Midway Reflections from Romania

It is mid-January, and it’s hard to believe that I am halfway through RevivEE.

Five months ago, I stepped into a new country, a new community, and a new rhythm of life. It has been purposeful, stretching, joyful, and at times unexpectedly refining. But nothing meaningful comes without cost — and this season has been no exception. But as I reflect, he’s certainly refined me through this experience. Some of these lessons have been humbling. Some painful. All of them have been worth it.

Here is what the first half of RevivEE has taught me.

1. Learning to Be Part of the Body

From day one, RevivEE challenged my independence. Two weeks of training in Moldova, followed by a structured schedule in Bucharest, living with teammates, serving under leadership—it felt like I had surrendered much of my autonomy.

I discovered something uncomfortable: I value independence more than I realized. I like having my own rhythm, my own plans, my own identity. Beneath that independence, though, was pride—and insecurity. I wanted to feel capable, distinct, and unique.

But I signed up to serve as a member of a team.

1 Corinthians 12 reminds me that we are one body with many parts. No part operates alone. Slowly, instead of resisting the structure, I’ve begun embracing it. I’ve learned to fill gaps, support leadership, and value unity over individuality.

What once felt restrictive now feels familial. We laugh together, pray together, and explore together. The team has become “one”. Through it all, God is teaching me that humility is not the loss of identity—it is the refinement of it.

2. My Love for God Has Deepened

When I came to RevivEE, I wanted to “reset” spiritually. I wasn’t far from God doctrinally—but I was emotionally distant. I loved the church, the values, the structure. But my time with Him lacked depth and delight.

There wasn’t a singular moment of change. It happened slowly. Daily time in Scripture. Consistent prayer. Quiet mornings. Honest journaling.

Somewhere along the way, God Himself became the best part of my day.

Psalm 73, a verse I used to love, recaptured my heart:
“Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You… God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Six months ago, I don’t know if I could have said that sincerely. Now, I can.

My desire to share the Good News has shifted too. Before, I wanted to be “ministry capable” (a term that ultimately means “passivity”). Now, I simply want others to know and understand the One I love. The motivation feels different. Less résumé. More relationship.

3. Living in the Unknown

If I’m honest, the future feels more open-ended than ever.

For years, I had a clear professional path. I worked intentionally toward a career in international development. But after industry changes, personal disappointments, and stepping away for RevivEE, I find myself in unfamiliar territory: I don’t know what’s next.

That has been humbling.

But in the uncertainty, Scripture has anchored me:

“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love…” (Deuteronomy 7:9)

“God is not human, that he should lie… Does he promise and not fulfill?” (Numbers 23:19)

When I look back over my life — rescinded job offers, unexpected firings, closed doors, broken relationships — I see a pattern. Every time something fell apart, God quietly built something better. He has provided. He has guided. He has grown me.

I have no detailed twelve-month plan right now. But I have evidence of His faithfulness.

So while I don’t know where I’m going, I know who does.

4. Where My Value Really Comes From

Living overseas has a way of stripping things away.

I don’t speak the language fluently. I don’t have a car. I’m not building career momentum. Many of my peers are getting married, advancing professionally, settling into stability.

Here, I feel small.

It forces the question: If I remove productivity, income, relationship status, and comfort—where does my value come from?

There have been moments where seeking first the Kingdom (Matthew 6:33) has not looked glamorous or rewarding. It has looked quiet. Hidden. Even lonely at times.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” (Galatians 2:20)

This season is teaching me that my worth cannot be rooted in circumstances or visible success. If it were, I would constantly rise and fall with them. Instead, it has to be tied to Christ.

That doesn’t mean every day feels light. There have been highs and lows. Joy and wrestling. Confidence and doubt. But through it all, God has been steady.

Looking Ahead with Gratitude

If there is one thread woven through this first half of RevivEE, it is this:

God is forming something deeper than I expected.

He is teaching me to function within the body.
He is restoring first love.
He is loosening my grip on control.
He is redirecting my identity.
He is proving His faithfulness again and again.

Thank you — truly — for being part of this journey. Your prayers, encouragement, and support have made this season possible. I don’t take that lightly.

I don’t know exactly where the Lord will lead me after RevivEE. But I know this:

“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places… I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” (Psalm 16:6–8)

Halfway through — and more anchored than ever.

With gratitude,
Becca 🤍